12 October 2008
Grandma looked great today when I visited her. She usually would have her eyes closed when she's not feeling good. But today, she opened both her eyes wide open. Naturally, I felt calm and comforted to see that.
I don't know why but everytime I come to visit, my Aunt and the maid would repeatedly ask Grandma who am I. It's been a long time since she could figure it out. The very last time someone mentioned my name to her, she remembered and then gave a warm smile.
Today, when Aunt mentioned my name, Grandma could only repeat and then went into a blank stare. Is it painful? Definitely. I kept my big smile on for Grandma until I left.
Come to think of it, I am no longer myself ever since Grandma became unwell. My Life went into a topsy turvy. I can't figure out how I landed up where I am without the guidance of Grandma. No, Grandma did not advise me what to do, but she definitely is the beacon of strength and hope for me to do anything.
I have indulged myself to work for the large part of the day since 2 years ago. Many friends would scratch their head as to how I juggle studies, relationships, grassroots, volunteering, blogging, work, and many other activities. This had distracted me from whatever needed to be distracted.
In Political Science, I always enjoyed the notion of a "void" or power "vacuum". Without Communist ideology, what would fill the void in the minds of Chinese? Without communicating with Grandma, what would or had filled the void in me?
Grandma looked great today when I visited her. She usually would have her eyes closed when she's not feeling good. But today, she opened both her eyes wide open. Naturally, I felt calm and comforted to see that.I don't know why but everytime I come to visit, my Aunt and the maid would repeatedly ask Grandma who am I. It's been a long time since she could figure it out. The very last time someone mentioned my name to her, she remembered and then gave a warm smile.
Today, when Aunt mentioned my name, Grandma could only repeat and then went into a blank stare. Is it painful? Definitely. I kept my big smile on for Grandma until I left.
Come to think of it, I am no longer myself ever since Grandma became unwell. My Life went into a topsy turvy. I can't figure out how I landed up where I am without the guidance of Grandma. No, Grandma did not advise me what to do, but she definitely is the beacon of strength and hope for me to do anything.
I have indulged myself to work for the large part of the day since 2 years ago. Many friends would scratch their head as to how I juggle studies, relationships, grassroots, volunteering, blogging, work, and many other activities. This had distracted me from whatever needed to be distracted.
In Political Science, I always enjoyed the notion of a "void" or power "vacuum". Without Communist ideology, what would fill the void in the minds of Chinese? Without communicating with Grandma, what would or had filled the void in me?
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