Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Saddest Moment in My Life II

27 March 2009

Today is Mother's birthday. 4 Uncles and 2 Aunts waited with Mother and I worriedly outside the ICU. With us were also another worried family.

Mother and I were chanting and praying.

I finally decided to contact my Brother. It was a daunting task. We didn't expect the hospital visit to be a serious one so we didn't bring along the contact information of his Unit. First, I called the "100" Phone directory service. They do not have the number. Next, I called e-NS. They do not have the number.

I was frantic. My relatives and Mother told me it would be okay and said it was late and my Brother would be asleep. I persevered as I prepared for the worst. I called my cousin who was previously from the same Unit as my Brother. He woke up and logged onto the NS Portal to see hi Unit's contact number. It was not updated.

Finally, I tried the NS hotline. I have to thank the duty personnel who picked up my call. Although he took a long time to get back to me, the important thing was he did get back to me. Moments later, Brother called me. I remember myself breaking down when I spoke to his Sergeant. Brother dashed out from Camp.

At about 3am, the doctor finally allowed Mother and I to visit my Father. The chill in the ICU was horrifying. Father was connected to a whole lot of machines that were sustaining his life. I held my Father's cold hand. Despite our repeated call, he didn't respond. However, I noticed tears in his eyes. We were ushered out minutes later. The Doctor told us that he would be administering the final dosage of antibiotics and that it would be up to Father's will to live.

Outside the ICU, I stared at the empty carpark and the silent road. Lin Qiang, you have to be here real quick, I thought to myself. I regretted not telling him the truth when I was in the ambulance.

At about 3.30am, the Doctor called for us again. His look gave him away. He told us he tried his best.

I went out and signalled the rest to come in. My Aunts burst out in tears as they walked briskly into the room. Everyone called for Father, but he just lay there. Then, one of my Uncle asked me to check if Brother had reached. True enough, at the ICU door, I saw my Brother. He had just arrived, in his PT attire and his newly shaven head. I pressed open the door for him. Without a word, he knew, and he dashed into the room.

For the next hour and more, we were in the room. My Father used to kiss us very frequently. We kissed him for the last time. My Uncle asked him not to fear, and that he could now see my Grandfather. There was a gentle smile on Father's handsome face.

This was out of our expectation. We had no chance to hear Father's last words.

Mother quipped that Father loved her deeply and wanted her to forever my Father by leaving us on her birthday.

At about 5am, the tubes were removed from Father. Father looked relieved from all the sufferings he have had for the past few months. Pulling down the blanket, we saw the scars on his chest, as a result of the electric pumping of the heart.

At 6am, Mother, Brother and I walked to the mortuary and collected the body. The casket loaded him up onto a lorry.

How I hope this was all a nightmare. I slept, thinking that Father was just going on a holiday...

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